First Year Regrets - 5 Things That Should’ve Happened

12 March 2018


During a pregnancy, we make a thousand and one plans on what we are going to do when our bundle of joy arrives, it’s these thoughts that help us get through the difficult days of waddling around with a big bump. Not once do we think about things not going to plan and when they don’t, it really puts us down and this is what happened with me.

Here are a few things that I regret about Little A's first year and what should have happened instead. I guess some may seem petty but when your hormones are riding on a rollercoaster, you do tend to get emotional about such things, eh?

Belief 


Thanks to a rough start to our breastfeeding journey, I really began to doubt myself and would worry extensively about things that didn’t need worrying over and suffered from the feeding guilt. You know, that good ole’ breastfeeding guilt - I won’t go into extensive detail here as I have already written a dedicated post about this but since this post is all about my regrets then there was no way I was going to keep this out. I guess I shouldn’t have let feeding overshadow our time, I should’ve persevered and be strong willed and should have fought my corner, which I did but that was much later on, this should have happened right at very beginning when I was being given wrong advice. I should have had more faith in myself that I was just perfect for my child.

Expressing


As I was given the impression by professionals that there was no need for me to express, I did not buy a pump until much later on after doing my own research. I first bought a manual pump, which was amazing but then I developed pain in my hand and shoulder because I was pumping everyday and manual pumps are not designed for everyday use. I then set my eyes on an electric pump that I really wanted but then took a lot of time purchasing it. 

By the time, I had bought the pump and began using it, my milk supply was already established and my body just wouldn't make anymore milk than Little A had needed. There was nothing wrong with the pump itself but me, I then learnt about power pumping and attempted that for two days but whenever I'd find time to sit down which would normally be after Little A's bedtime, she'd unsettle and want only me. 

I then never went back to pumping. I think the regret in this is that I should have persevered and should have bought a pump right away, it would have helped me increase my milk supply and I probably would've not faced the issues in the beginning that I did. To put this long story short, I should have done my own research into breastfeeding and expressing when I was pregnant and not relied on ill informed professionals.

Newborn Photoshoot 


 This makes my heart leap and not in that lovingly kind of way. Throughout my pregnancy, I had planned that I would arrange a professional photoshoot for Little A in her early weeks of life. I had even decided who I was going to book, contacted them and had 80% of everything arranged. I also had wanted to take advantage of the Bounty Photoshoot that takes place at the hospital but if you read my birth story then you already know that it didn’t happen due to the neonatal stay. When Little A came home at 4 days old, I ended up disabled for over a month.

Then in her first month she ended up with cradle cap all over her face - so I guess you get the gist of it all now. This didn’t really bother me as I have gazillions of photos of her and do my own photoshoots of her but when someone casually mentioned to me last month that ‘everyone has a professional photoshoot done of their babies, why didn’t you?’ It really hit me hard.

 Letters


During my pregnancy, I had bought a cute diary and decided quite excitedly that I was going to write a letter to Little A each month and did I? Nope! I know it’s not too late to start this but it would have been lovely to have documented her developments and memories of the month on paper for her to look back on.

 Milestones 


 I didn’t buy those special milestones cards until much later on and now you must be thinking what was even the point! Crazy me ended up buying it the day before Little A turned 6 months old, yes 6 months (blame Amazon prime, not me!). So a lot of them are unused of course but I was determined to use them from that point on and I did for example when she turned a month older, ate solids for the first time, sat independently etc but there have been milestone cards that are gathering dust such as ‘first tooth’ - she cut her first tooth and I began to think that doesn’t count right? It needs to develop properly then I never got round to take that picture. When she unexpectedly began to crawl when weren’t home that week as well as turning 11 months at the time, neither photos were taken. But I was adamant on using the ‘Today’s My First Birthday’ card.

Little A had her birthday over at her Nanna’s and whilst packing her things the day before, I made sure I had packed it but it is, unfortunately, still lost in transit somewhere as I have searched both homes for it and I still cannot find it! I guess the regret here is I shouldn’t have bothered buying them 6 months on in her life and when I did buy them I should have not let life get in the way of using them. It does sometimes make me feel awful when I think about it.

*~*~*

Did you have any regrets from your child's first year?
Please share with me below!

8 comments

  1. I don't even remember my pregnancy with my first daughter let alone that first year. I wish I had written more. #StayClassyMama

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  2. There's a lot of stuff there - I am stuck that anyone would bother getting a professional baby shoot - let alone feel guilty about not getting one done?!?! I took 20 million photos of my first child, which I look back on and realise I was deranged. I fortunately chucked in the 'baby album' of milestones fetish after the first one, because was simply too busy with 2 and 3 (focusing on 1 and 2 who could actually talk and walk and had places to be and things to do) to bother. So I can just discard that masterpiece so no one gets jealous...In a child's life, when they're dux of the school or just got a great job promotion, when they learnt to walk won't really be of interest to anyone (including them). So I'd let that guilt go and enjoy all the wonderful things that you shared with your bub in that first year. If they're you're only regrets, sounds like you had a pretty fabulous first year! Congratulations on surviving it.

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  3. I had the feeding guilt problem for 7 months! I wish I could have just gotten over it and enjoyed our time together, but alas, those new mommy hormones! I also skipped out on the hospital and newborn photoshoots...but in the long run, waiting until my little one didn't look like a wrinkly old man potato was okay in my book. I'm sure there will be regrets each year, but let the happy memories outweigh them!
    #StayClassyMama

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  4. It sounds like the first year is always a busy one with so much going on. It’s lovely you captured so many photos, I wouldn’t worry too much about a professional shot. Yours are probably just as good. I imagine motherhood is hard work, so well done you, it sounds like you are doing your best 💕😘 xx

    Bexa | www.hellobexa.com

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  5. The newborm photoshoots and milestone cards weren't even things when I had my daughter! I wish I'd written in the beautiful (expensive) baby book I bought! I filled it out at first but soon gave up! I can't even remember my daughter's first word ☹️ great post!

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  6. I wouldn’t know myself but I’ve heard of so many people who have a lot of regrets with their first because everything’s so new and hindsight is a wonderful thing! It was awful of someone to make you feel bad about not having a photo shoot done!- https://sophiehearts.net x

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  7. Lovely post, it is lovely to recall the happy memories X #stayclassymama

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  8. I'm sorry but not everyone has a professional photoshoot for their newborn! My sister in law is a photographer and offered to do it for us and I said no because I find them strange. No baby sleeps in a flower basket or naked with a cute hat on right? Anyway, maybe it's just me. I think my only regret was not enjoying my first pregnancy enough because I was so anxious and worried about the birth. Thank you for sharing with #StayClassyMama

    ReplyDelete

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