Let’s Talk About Sleep!

18 January 2019



A year ago, I posted The Night Shift - it was all about our immense struggle with sleep and how I felt about it all. So, I thought since it’s been a year we should have a little update!

I’ll answer the pending question first: 
Has she slept through yet?

No she hasn’t and to be honest I don’t expect to her too. Just ask yourself, do you sleep through the entire night? Honestly, it’d be a miracle if we adults do, we either stir and change sides, get up to go to the toilet or have a sip of water or there might be some moments in the night you stare at the ceiling hoping to get back to sleep.

Children go through the same process at night but the difference is that they don’t know what to do with themselves, so they cry or scream to be quite exact.

They scream for you because you’re their safe haven.

Yes, there are babies who sleep through and have no struggles and congratulations to those parents of them but many don’t until much later on and I’ve come to accept that it’s normal.

The past year we have been through many changes regarding sleep. I started work in May and realised I was pretty much a zombie at work which wasn’t healthy at all. Adding that to the heatwave this country suffered from lead to A not being a happy bunny at all at night.

Additionally, she developed great hatred for her cot, she’d cry and flap her hands about when being lowered into it - she’d never had any issues settling herself to sleep in her cot before so this felt like a major step back.

I then resorted to bringing her in bed with me when she was around 18 months I think which eventually turned her into sleeping in my bed from the beginning of the night. She still didn’t sleep through but it meant that I didn’t have to keep on getting up at least.

This carried on for three months.

Eventually, I decided that we’ll pack away the cot and we will just have to bed share. I bought a bed guard large enough for our double bed and we packed away the cot.

Then my heart sank.

I don’t know what it is with us mums and our hormones but I just did not like the thought and the sight of her cot not being there! So back up the cot went much to my husband’s amusement, of course. 

Then I was given some advice by loved ones to follow and we haven’t looked back since. We have the cot bed at its highest setting with one side off - we’ve basically turned it into a next to me, rest assured we’ve taken safety measures and she is not at any risk!

Little A has actually been quite happy about the change. She has her own space but at the same time she’s close to me too so it’s a win win situation for both of us!

Moreover, there’s another more dominant reason for her not sleeping well at night and that’s teething because when she is disturbed during the night, it’s her literally moaning in her sleep.

I’m pretty confident that once she gets all of her teeth and molars through, we won’t be struggling at night or at least not much because she does have the capability of sleeping for long periods at a time, which she has proven time to time for example sleeping from 7:30pm to 1:30am without a peep sometimes and even sleeping through the fireworks which actually woke me up!

Other pending questions: 

Why not move her into a toddler bed?

The only time I will change the cot to a bed is once she is in her own room as it’s going to be an unsuitable scenario for my room.

When is she going into her own room?

Currently, the plan is towards the end of this year when she’s that much older and around 3 years old. I’m in no hurry to move her so may not even stick to this plan but we will see how it goes. To be quite fair, I’m just not ready for that change yet.

I’ve heard people say that children end up sleeping better once they’re in their own room but I don’t believe in that. I know parents who still struggle with sleep once they’re child is in their own room too.

All of this just goes to show that each child is different - what one child does, it’d be unfair to expect the same from another.

Nevertheless, I’m just tackling each night as it comes, I’ve stopped going to sleep thinking perhaps tonight is the night because when you do think that your hopes come crashing down! 

I’ve told myself to just see the positive side of it all because it won’t be long until she’d want to actually sleep and I’d want her up for a certain time! 

Oh the school mornings when you want your child to be up but they have other plans.. only a year and a bit left!






2019 Goals

11 January 2019



Another year and another time to think about setting goals for yourself. 2018 was actually the very first year I wrote down or set any goals for myself and I am so glad that I did - so of course I’m not going to let this year go without any!

2018 was undoubtedly a great year compared to others as it gave me a lot, watching my baby grow into a little girl, a new career and a new home.

So what do I want from this year?

Organisation

Going back to work, blogging, being a mum and everything else has shown me that I really need to start being better organised. So I’m on a mission to be organised whether that’s got to do with my blog or personal life - I’ve got my hands on the positivity planner and so far it has been helping me to plan and get things done!

Read

Mid 2018 I got so excited about getting back into reading, I bought several books but only managed to finish one and a half! This year I want to at least get through the books I bought and if possible get tucked into more.

Make my Bed

Yes, I have been one of those that sometimes just cannot be bothered! But since the new year, I’ve made a pact with myself that I will not step out of my bedroom until my bed is made!

Clean and Tidy before going to bed!

This is with regards to our kitchen/lounge area. Waking up to a nice and tidy kitchen and room in the morning just gives you that lovely feeling doesn’t it? I’ve started making more of an effort towards the end of the year and I hope to continue. Honestly speaking, I don’t want to be dealing with extra mess when I want to be getting ready for work!

Self Care

The one that got away!

So this was that one goal on my 2018 list that I did not get round too! Sad but true! I want to have a set routine after A goes to sleep whether that includes winding down,  reading a book or some skincare - here’s hoping that 2019 will be the year I take care of myself!

Blogging

To keep on blogging but also not to put myself under pressure. Whether that means cutting down the number of posts I post in a week, taking a break when need be and anything! Blogging is my escape, I don’t want it to become a chore as then it’s no longer fun and I’m not here for that.

Social Media

This is in terms of Instagram in particular, I want to make some effort in the pictures I take and post - I like a bit of a challenge and want to see what I can do. 

Additionally, I need to stop being so lazy and actually promote my blog and posts more on social media!

*~*~*

So these are my goals, what are yours?



One Year of Blogging #TeaWithSoffy

4 January 2019



I cannot believe I am actually writing this post! A year ago, I posted my first post - I wanted to start a blog for a long time but only just got round to it and thought the new year would be a great time to step into this fascinating world. 

I wasn’t sure anyone but my friend Steph would be reading my blog or following my posts but I am amazed that people from all over the world have stumbled upon my little corner of the internet and actually like what they read - this makes me so proud!

Blogging has given me so much whether that is confidence as myself or as a parent to many wonderful blogging friends  who have shown me immense love and support in my first year. 

I wasn’t quite sure what to write as my first blogversary post as I had done a blogging tips and tricks for marking 6 months so then a random spur of a idea came forth and I thought it’d be interesting to answer questions some of my followers and readers might have for me. 

I mentioned this on twitter and instagram and was surprised at my DMs that people were actually interested! 

So here goes!

Why did you start a blog?

I always wanted to start a blog, I nearly did back in 2016 a couple of months after saying goodbye to my son but just never got round to it. 

Then Little A entered our lives and I was introduced to the world of YouTube after looking for tips on breastfeeding and the right bottle for breastfed babies - I thought to myself, I can do this! But of course not in front of the camera but from behind a laptop and the fact that I just wanted to share a lot added to the mixture as well.

Will you ever show yours or Little A’s face?

No because I don’t feel comfortable. I’ve never been a ‘social media’ person and only made a twitter and Instagram because of my blog. I make sure especially when posting pictures of A that her face isn’t clearly shown - some may agree with this some might but that’s just how I feel.

How do you manage working full time and running your blog along with everything else?

I don’t! I’d like to think I do but I could be so much better at managing everything. I try to follow my own tips but sometimes I do lack and then my blog is the one to suffer. This year I’m hoping to make a difference in this area so wish me luck!

How old are you?

Four years shy away from the big 30!

Do you plan on weaning A off the breast when she turns 2?

Absolutely not! The struggles we’ve had in the beginning and when I see how far we have come I just can’t get myself too especially when she’s not ready to herself. At the moment, she vocally demands for a breastfeed, if I’m ‘a bit’ late on popping her on, she gets upset. This clearly shows me she’s not ready so I’m just going to let her take the lead, when she wants to wean herself, she can.

Are you going to be baking A’s birthday cake again?

Oh yes I am! 

I wasn’t sure until last week whether I wanted to this time but why not, eh? And of course I’ll bring you all along on the journey too.

Do you regret not pursing a career in law when you’ve worked so hard and spent a lot of years studying it?

In my first month of my new job I did get thoughts of regret and guilt and would think to myself, ‘what have I done?’ but as days progressed I began to feel it was the right decision. 

How many siblings do you have, if any?

I have two older brothers.

How did you feel when you found out Little A is a girl?

Relief! I know this sounds horrible and berserk coming from a person who has previously lost a child. In the perfect world, all I should have cared about is having a healthy baby but it’s never so straightforward is it? I was inundated with so many thoughts such as ‘how could I love another little boy?’ etc and as sad as I feel to admit this, I still feel the same today. 

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Don’t take anything for granted and make the most of each moment.

*~*~*

Thank you for all your love and support!

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